Only What I Can Carry.

As I wait to board my plane to Texas, memories of who I was a few years ago pop up in my mind.  See, this is the first time I've been in the DFW area in over a year... an area I spent living on my own for over 4 years.  And though I look forward to seeing a lot of the friends I had made during that time, I can't help but wonder if never leaving would have satisfied me. 

I can understand why many people yearn to firmly plant themselves.  There's a feeling of relief.  The tiresome explorer getting to his destination and, with what energy he has left, impaling the ground with his flag to claim his plot of land.  There's a sense of control.  My territory... my rules.  There's a semblance of stability and certainty.  I know what to expect in my own little world, and it changes only at my will.

Being Open.

I went on a date yesterday.  The usual... conversation over coffee.  The unusual... I met her online.

Although many of us would be lost without the Internet, the idea of finding a potential mate via website still meets slow reception.  Typical responses:

• Isn't it awkward?
• Can't they lie?
• What if they end up being crazy, creepy, weird, etc.?

My response - Welcome to the dating scene.

Myers-Briggs says I'm INFP.

I was coaxed by a friend yesterday into taking the Myers-Briggs.  She finds that this test is the best in determining personality, and though I think it is a little too general for my tastes (leading to error), I can't argue with how correct it can be when taken properly.  I have taken this test a few times before, with varying results.  My time in California has been very introspective however, and figured I would be able to give fair, honest-to-me answers to the questions posed in this test.

It turns out I am an INFP, which a few sites have labeled as The Idealist.  Here's a brief description from PersonalityPage.com:

Turning 23.

I learned quite a few things this past year of my life.  To commemorate the occasion, I've decided to share 23 things for the 23 years I've survived.

1. Moving to a new location only changes the scenery... but it won't change who you are.
2. That being said... moving will give you new perspective and can open you up to things you weren't aware of before.
3. A degree is not a guarantee you will succeed, but a degree will give you the tools to succeed.
4. Money is not an end, but a means.
5. Owning a car is a luxury, not a necessity.
6. Spending less than you earn is essential to building wealth.
7. Investing in yourself doesn't always have to involve money.
8. The more you learn, the more you realize that there's not a lot you really know.
9. You can't lead without knowing how to follow.
10. You can't convince people through force.
11. You can't please everybody.
12. Giving yourself a chance to succeed can lead to good things.
13. You determine your own happiness.
14. Continual preparation and practice gives you the ability to handle things at the most pivotal moments.
15. Being a better listener makes you a better communicator.
16. Fulfilling your potential doesn't have to be defined by your career.
17. Developing hobbies is important in making you a more balanced person.
18. Maximize on your strengths.
19. Know your limits.
20. Creating your own path can be a struggle.
21. You can't have everything... but you don't need everything.
22. People will surprise you sometimes... for better or worse.
23. You can do all the planning you want... but you truly live through doing.

Back to Nature...

Today was quite an experience.  I spent the day at a lake, renting out kayaks with a few friends.  It had been quite a few years since I had been to a lake... and I must say it was worth the trip.  A few faint clouds in the sky.... the sun providing a gentle warmth while the breeze guided us along the cool water...

There's a few things you can learn from paddling a two person kayak...

1. It's not how many strokes you can make... but the quality of each stroke.
2. Working together can be the difference between heading in the proper direction or spinning in circles.
3. A little sun and some fresh air on occasion is good for the soul.
4. Involvement in your environment is way more rewarding than observing it.

The Hair of My Chinny-Chin-Chin.

While on my trip... I stopped by a shop that sells men's grooming products.  My main reason was to change up my normal shaving routine... I'm putting a razor to my face every day, so it's worth thinking about.  Luckily, this place not only had a wide range of disposable and multi-blade razors, but also held an impressive collection of straight and safety razors.  Some of my older audience may be more familiar with those, but I'll break it down for the younger guys and gals...

Straight razors look like knives.  You apply it straight to the face and go at it.  Reminds me of old westerns and adventure movies.

Safety razors are double sided and require single blade inserts.  The only things you ever have to replace are the inserts themselves.  The safety guards themselves last a lifetime.  Reminds me of that "simpler time" your grandpappy keeps talking about.

Baby We Were Born to Run...

Yesterday, I made the mistake of eating at a pizza buffet for lunch.  I probably ate the unhealthiest pizza I've ever come across... the grease sweat was just dripping.  So in an effort to make up for that carb and calorie infested mind-fart, I decided I'd go for a run.

And boy... did I run...

As soon as I stepped out the door, I started running down the hallway.  Then to the street.  Then I ran down the block.  One block became two blocks.  Then five blocks.  Then ten.

I ran uphill.  Downhill.  Upstairs.  Downstairs.  Wide open roads.  Narrow alleyways.  Cut around corners of buildings.  Guided around winding sidewalks. 

I couldn't stop moving. 

How Live Jazz Speaks.

Tonight I type this entry from a small coffee shop hosting a jazz band.  At some moments they're a little rough... but for the most part entertaining.  I surprisingly got in some higher level reading while the music took over the background.

I have some trouble listening to jazz recordings, but I love hearing it live.  And jazz is meant to be heard in that fashion.  The music itself is in the moment.  If follows a few rules, but works around them, creating the ability to feel new and different while still maintaining a sense of familiarity.  I liken it to conversation; when recorded it personifies a time or moment where it can be it's own entity, whereas when live it demands a choice of interaction.

You Are What You Repeatedly Do.

I had a chat with a friend of mine back in Dallas today.  We caught up on each others' lives and our plans for the future.  My mention of the financial benchmarks I had set for myself seemed very ambitious to him.  We proceeded to talk about how expenses change as we get older.  He suggested that I'll spend much more as I grow older;  I countered that they most likely will stay the same, and may possibly lower.

I must warn you that I am in a position very conducive to saving.  In the past few years, I've given up television, sold all of my vehicles, and have cancelled/closed most of my subscription services.  Starting this May, the only bills I will see will come from my cell phone provider (a 2 year contract which will end before I leave California) and credit cards (which are used for most of my transactions and paid off in their entirety every month).  I possess very few things, which makes upkeep minimal and insurance obsolete.  And my rent, utilities, and healthcare are covered through my work.

I believe that at the rate I am going, in coordination with the steps I'm taking, I'll be able to lessen my expenses even more so in the future.  How, you ask?  By working on attaining productive skills while being conscious of the way I spend my time and money daily.

Ah... Kids These Days...

Glad to be back writing posts!  I'll cut the sentimental filler and get right into the good stuff...

Being among many younger workers has given me a little insight on why I had some conflict with older workers in my own past.  Younger people (as well as I) are dumb.  Seriously.  And not in the intellectual sense, book smarts, etc.  The 18-24 year old American population (which just so happens to be the target consumer market most sought out for by American businesses) is a group that just isn't fully developed.

It's not their fault.  The elders are correct in most respects; we don't have much experience, and we play the game of life wrong. 

Dead give-aways of youth in the work environment:

• Coming in with high expectations and a sense of entitlement
• Overt highs and lows with emotions (freak-outs) and words (ex. use of the word awesome/amazing at least more than once)
• Exchanging that new paycheck for the latest gadget/toys/supplies
• Overly self-conscious about looks
• Accepting everything without question (having no backbone)
• Stepping over boundaries (proving to have backbone) at the most inappropriate times
• "Throwing on the charm" instead of bringing in results
• Getting caught up in the office drama
• Looking for that raise without even being in a year
  

Why Rocky is a Solid Movie.

While flipping through channels today, I caught myself fixed onto the first Rocky movie.  I've seen this movie maybe 20 times now, and I still always get drawn back to it.  Here are some reasons why I feel it is a prime American movie, in no particular order (if you are worried about spoilers... I feel sorry for you):

Reason #1 - It's a down-and-out story.  And not just normal down-and-out, but we're talking lowest of lows.  Rocky is a blubbering mess of a person.  And the company he keeps all have their own deep issues.  Drunkards, shut-ins, loan sharks, etc., all are trash to the common man, but they all possess one redeeming quality.  Each person tries to help in the only way they know how.

Reason #2 - It's gritty.  This movie is rough.  Rocky is shot rough, with a very low budget.  The dialogue can be grating at points.  The acting certainly isn't textbook.  Hell, Stallone had to write in some scenes due to some errors in props.  But this only gives the movie a stronger appeal.  It brings you into that dirty, uneasy, scrappy environment.

Putting Yourself Out There.

There are times when you will come across a person who says they are lucky to be in the situation they are in.  Whether it is in their job, their mate, their wealth, etc. they feel as though they were in the right place at the right time to receive such great things in their lives.

We can't control luck.  When we wish for it, it seems we never get it.  And when we least expect it, it makes its presence known.  So how do we become lucky people?  We put ourselves out there.

You have to take chances and extend yourself to possibilities.  The more opportunities we give ourselves to succeed, the more chances luck will strike.  We can't control being in the right place at the right time... but we can control the places we are at and the amount of time we spend at each.  Make an effort to put yourself in those positive opportune areas and give it enough time, and something positive will strike.  But it's the risk of putting yourself out there that gives you the ability to receive amazing rewards.

Life Isn't the Struggle You Make It Out to Be.

People think that reaching their goals involves a lot of work.  The truth of the matter is that we get in our own way.  We want to make things complicated because we were conditioned to think that life is complicated.  There's this notion that you have to struggle to be successful or that you have to prove your worth by showing that you've scrapped.

We are born with certain advantages and disadvantages we can't control.  However, we sometimes get into this comparison war with others discussing who has more of a disadvantage like it's a badge of honor.  Some will even take it further by finding struggles to put upon themselves to show that they too know what it's like to live with disadvantages.

Tell me how it makes sense to put yourself in situations that people are trying to get themselves out of.  Yes, we all have issues that we have to get past.  We have to play with the hand we are dealt.  So accept it and move on, instead of thriving on being or becoming a victim.  Use your strengths, take advantage of those advantages, and make the most of your time while you have it.  And maybe the struggles won't be so relevant anymore.

On Why Being Selfish Can Be Selfless.

I finished Ayn Rand's novel Atlas Shrugged last night, which is an accomplishment in itself for me.  I have trouble finishing fiction... prefer non-fiction works.  I'll admit it; I enjoyed the book.  That is a statement that would never have come out of my mouth a decade ago.  My grade school English teachers would be proud.

One of the prominent messages I took from the book was that in order to truly benefit others, get past the idea that producing for ourselves is wrong.  In other words, being selfish is selfless.  Rand argues that it is because we have the ability to reward ourselves individually for our endeavors that produces creativity, progress, and, most importantly, action.  All three in turn reward society at large.  It is the idea that being self-serving in general is a sin that stifles us from truly achieving great things.

Why Casual Spectators Should be Ignored...

So I was able to catch a few of the fights from the UFC 111 Pay-per-view event.  Nothing too exciting (besides Frank Mir getting demolished via punches in the first round by Shane Carwin).  I noticed a few things about this event though.

First off, younger and less experienced fighters tend to put on more exciting fights.  They take a lot more risks, and therefore put themselves in dangerous but exciting situations.  Casual fans love this.  

Second, fights that involve seasoned veterans tend to be more calculated.  Thus, fights take more time due to fighters respecting their opponents strengths as well as feeling their strategy out.  The lulls in action sometimes receive boos from the crowd.

Why Learning a New Language is Similar to Dating...

In the beginning... it's new, a little scary, and somewhat frustrating.

Usually you're at a loss for words.

Body language can go a long way.

It's all about confidence.

Past experiences can help/hurt your progress.

Depression is a Good Thing.

No... I am not going all "emo" on you guys and gals.

I want to argue that depression should not be feared and is a healthy, normal, natural thing.  In fact, I would say that depression came to be as an evolutionary tactic;  this feeling of emptiness is actually a byproduct of growth and change.   Growth and change, my friends, are good things.

Let's look at one of the quintessential times of change for the human being... what we have come to know as the mid-life crisis.  Usually defined as a phase happening somewhere in your 30s or 40s, a person acknowledges his finite time upon this earth, and is overwhelmed with the thoughts of whether his choices for his life were right or wrong.  He comes to terms with his limits and regrets, and tries to have one last hurrah to justify or make up for all the time he feels he has wasted thus far.  This transition is accompanied with denial and/or sadness.

Delayed Gratification

Life takes self-control.  Seriously.  In an age where we have access to everything via a couple of keystrokes, self-discipline is more important than ever.  You have to have the fortitude to handle what life throws at you, as well as that fire to keep you passionate about what you truly desire.

One aspect of self-control is the idea of delayed gratification.  Yes, you could have pretty much everything you want now (thank you credit cards), but you'll pay for it in spades later on.  And will you appreciate what you've taken, or will the feeling be as fleeting as the whim that brought you to it in the first place?

The great things that we yearn for in life entail some type of struggle that we just can't skip or avoid.  Yet, our society has grown to be one that is impulsive in nature, and it's made many of us less content with our lives.  And that impulsivity has brought about debts to be repaid, causing an even further downward spiral.

On Moderation.

I've spent the past few days watching the show Man v. Food on the Travel Channel (I'm not getting paid to promote... I really should find out about that).  If you have never seen it, the host attacks food challenges established by restaurants, usually involving tear-jerking spice or epic quantities fit for King Kong.  He'll eat... eat... and eat some more.  You can see the joy from his first few bites; by the end, his pure hatred for the task at hand shines through his sweat-drenched face.  The reward usually consists of a picture on a Wall of Fame, a t-shirt, and a heart attack before the age of 40.

I can't help it... I'm addicted.  Who doesn't want to see a man chomp down 6 pounds of food within an hour?  It's the American Way.

Last night, I went out for beer and pool.  It was a great time; nothing too crazy, but enjoyable.  If you were to flash back a few years, the story would have probably included bragging about the ridiculous number of shots I tallied, followed by me being a complete mess.  Now this is not to prove that my tolerance has gotten even stronger (in fact... I'm pretty sure I'm a cheap drunk now), but to show that excess is overrated. 

The Storyteller's Creed

I found this in a book I just so happened to come across in the library today:

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.
That myth is more potent than history.
That dreams are more powerful than facts.
That hope always triumphs over experience.
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death.

- Robert Fulghum

And so... I continue on.