6.12.10

Only What I Can Carry.

As I wait to board my plane to Texas, memories of who I was a few years ago pop up in my mind.  See, this is the first time I've been in the DFW area in over a year... an area I spent living on my own for over 4 years.  And though I look forward to seeing a lot of the friends I had made during that time, I can't help but wonder if never leaving would have satisfied me. 

I can understand why many people yearn to firmly plant themselves.  There's a feeling of relief.  The tiresome explorer getting to his destination and, with what energy he has left, impaling the ground with his flag to claim his plot of land.  There's a sense of control.  My territory... my rules.  There's a semblance of stability and certainty.  I know what to expect in my own little world, and it changes only at my will.

But alas, I carry no flag.  Nor do I long for relief, control, stability, or certainty.  So here I sit in anticipation of a 10 day trip, with nothing but a small, half-full school bag, some memories with old friends to reminisce about, and a few stories about my life out West.  And when my time in Texas is up, it's back to the journey.